Red Dwarf Scripts

What if Monty Python made a Star Trek parody ?

It's three million years in the future, and an equal distant in light years
away from the Earth.  David Lister, put in stasis (time freeze) as 
punishment for bring an animal (his pet cat) onboard ship and violating 
quarantine, awakens to find his crewmates dead of an atomic explosion.  
His only companions are The Cat (who's race evolved from Lister's cat) and 
Rimmer (his boss and roommate, and the biggest smeghead in the galaxy).
Later they pick up the mechanoid Kryten and a version of Dave's 
girlfriend from a parallel universe.

THE VESSEL: The Jupiter Mining Corporation Vessel: RED DWARF

THE CREW: David Lister= The last Human (barely) alive.  Dave is an 
                        eternal optimist and a giant slob.  His goals 
                        in life include eating lots of curry, drinking 
                        lots of lager and to somehow get reunited with
                        the woman of his dreams and "to have her 
                        bounce up and down on him, in that way humans 
                        find strangely pleasing" (according to Kryten)

          Arnold Rimmer= A hologramatic simulation of Dave's roommate.
                         The textbook serial killer/facist dictator/
                         complete loser.  Lost his virginity at age 30 
                         with a unconscious woman.  He spent 12 
                         minutes with her (including the time it took 
                         to eat the pizza). 

          The Cat= A Felis Sapiens (evloved from cats as humans evolved            
                   from the apes).  Dave's pet cat Frankenstein is his 
                   ancestor  The most well groomed entity in seven 
                   universes.  Possibly the laziest and most vain as well.

          Kryten= A mechanoid with a face like Herman Munster's stunt 
                  double.  Has an encyclopedic knowledge of the Space
                  Corps. Directives, but only seems to use them 
                  against Rimmer, who he refers to as "SMeeee..heeee"
          Holly= The Ships computer.  Has an IQ of 6000 (the equal of 
                 12,000 P.E. teachers)  Known for his chipper attitude,
                 and his love of Agatha Christie novels and a 
                 good practical joke. 

          Kristine Kochanski=The love of Dave's life, alive again 
                             thanks to a trip to a parallel universe.
                             She loves Dave too, albeit it another 
                             version of Dave from that same parallel 
                             universe.(Who isn't an insensitive slob).

Confused?  Click Here to go to an FAQ

find an FAQ that may explain somethings more clearly...
including what the smeg "smeg" is exactly. Enjoy, Smegheads.

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